An update, part 2.

Since it’s been a month, I want to follow up on some of the things I posted in my update of August 1st, since some of them were open, hanging questions.

  1. I am back on social media.  Mostly Twitter, some Facebook.  The fact that I’m able to endure the onslaught of current events etc. is a very good sign.
  2. I have found a therapist.  It took me seven tries, but after only two sessions I can say that #7 is easily the best therapist I’ve ever worked with (best for me, anyway).  She’s also just an extraordinary human: worked in her parents’ store in Vietnam at age 9, wanted to be a brain surgeon but found her hands weren’t steady enough so got a PhD in clinical psychology instead.  She’s brilliant, empathetic, knows BPD inside and out, and I look forward to every session.
  3. I’m still having some trouble with social interaction.  The most stubbornly clinging symptom from this relapse is an utter certainty of others’ justified annoyance/hostility/dislike/contempt.  Going into an interaction feeling as though I default to the role of antagonist makes it hard to interact normally.  My therapist and I are getting to work on that.
  4. Learning the reason for my new and alarming flavor of headache (cataracts causing eye focusing problems) has been a godsend.  I seem to be back to my usual, more manageable migraines now that I’ve limited my surface-street driving.
  5. Still up in the air: when I’ll get cataract surgery.  It will definitely not be before the World Fantasy Convention though, which means I won’t be able to go.  Trying to find my way around an unfamiliar hotel is a guaranteed way to end up bedridden (see #4).
  6. I’m writing again!  Sort of.  Gathering notes, thinking thoughts, reading research books, getting excited for the next project.  Having both my girls in school has been helpful.
  7. I’m also back to some of the hobbies I’ve long neglected: learning languages, piano, reading.

I think the picture is overall looking much rosier, so I just wanted to let anyone know who’s been worried.  Thanks for checking in!

One Response to “An update, part 2.”

  1. Keznik

    Hi! I always thought my over the top pushy friendship style was a product of my endless reaffirming core belief that I was a failure and if people could be my good friend before they notice how actually crap I was then at least I would have some happy memories of a friendship (along side all the cringing “shouldn’t have said that” moments). I didn’t realise this was a thing, an actual thing that others suffered from. Therefore I feel a little better, thank you. I would also like to apologise for being a bit (quite a bit) needy with you when we first “met”. We were both pretty mentally dead and you sound a lot better now. I still have my moments but I can appreciate the family cuddles, enjoy cooking and writing when I can. I can relate easily to your new post as that knowledge of the real me has been trying to surface, not successfully though at the moment. Anyway, again I have overshared lol. Take care x

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