Since it’s been a month, I want to follow up on some of the things I posted in my update of August 1st, since some of them were open, hanging questions.
- I am back on social media. Mostly Twitter, some Facebook. The fact that I’m able to endure the onslaught of current events etc. is a very good sign.
- I have found a therapist. It took me seven tries, but after only two sessions I can say that #7 is easily the best therapist I’ve ever worked with (best for me, anyway). She’s also just an extraordinary human: worked in her parents’ store in Vietnam at age 9, wanted to be a brain surgeon but found her hands weren’t steady enough so got a PhD in clinical psychology instead. She’s brilliant, empathetic, knows BPD inside and out, and I look forward to every session.
- I’m still having some trouble with social interaction. The most stubbornly clinging symptom from this relapse is an utter certainty of others’ justified annoyance/hostility/dislike/contempt. Going into an interaction feeling as though I default to the role of antagonist makes it hard to interact normally. My therapist and I are getting to work on that.
- Learning the reason for my new and alarming flavor of headache (cataracts causing eye focusing problems) has been a godsend. I seem to be back to my usual, more manageable migraines now that I’ve limited my surface-street driving.
- Still up in the air: when I’ll get cataract surgery. It will definitely not be before the World Fantasy Convention though, which means I won’t be able to go. Trying to find my way around an unfamiliar hotel is a guaranteed way to end up bedridden (see #4).
- I’m writing again! Sort of. Gathering notes, thinking thoughts, reading research books, getting excited for the next project. Having both my girls in school has been helpful.
- I’m also back to some of the hobbies I’ve long neglected: learning languages, piano, reading.
I think the picture is overall looking much rosier, so I just wanted to let anyone know who’s been worried. Thanks for checking in!